When children use violence or aggression towards a parent (often the non-abusive parent) it can be deeply distressing, confusing, and isolating for families. Too often, this behaviour is seen through a lens of blame or ‘bad behaviour’, without considering the survival strategies children have learned in homes where domestic abuse was present.

This webinar explores how some children’s aggression towards a parent may be rooted in trauma, fear, confusion, and loyalty conflicts. We’ll examine how exposure to coercive control and violence can shape children’s emotional worlds, disrupt attachment, and influence how they seek control, safety, or connection. Participants will reflect on how to interpret these behaviours with curiosity and compassion, and consider ways to support both the child and the harmed parent safely and effectively.

Learning objectives

• Describe how exposure to domestic abuse can influence children’s use of aggression or violence towards a parent
• Recognise how children’s harmful behaviour may be rooted in survival responses, attachment disruption, and trauma
• Identify some of the challenges faced by the non-abusive parent when experiencing harm from their child and seeking help
• Reflect on ways to respond to this form of harm that prioritise safety, understanding, and trauma-informed support

This session will be led by Aleks Tokarz-Tyler.